Wednesday, October 28, 2009
gosh,
It's...
Scary...
If you get
THAT feeling...
i'm super duper afraid rite now...
i'm hoping that i'm wrong...
SIGH!
try having your father
say alot of weird stuff..
weird as in good weird...
try being closer to your father than mother...
but *like usual parents*
he have never actually said "i love you" to you...
but suddenly,
he begins saying it..
over and over again...
then he starts talking stuff like...
"i want you to prove your mom wrong..."
and
"i know you can do it..."
and
"i believe in you..."
and
"dont you EVER let me down no matter what..."
i ask you,
have your dad EVER said these stuff to you??
i bet you that your answer is no...
well,
according to malays...
before someone passes away..
there will be "signs"...
its like,
the person who's going knows that they're going soon...
so they're using the remaining time
to 'complete' their lives...
so they start talking weird but they dont realise it...
you know,
that's what i'm afraid of..
i DONT EVER want him to go....
until now,
i've seen MANY close friends suffer losing parents
and the ones they love...
one even cried till she fainted cos she couldn't accept that fact...
my father...
ever since mid exams he started acting weird...
i'm... scared....
i cant talk to anyone but 1 person..
the rest wont understand the actual feeling...
but i wont...
whats the use?!
if you know me,
there are two things i cannot do easily...
firstly, talk about how i'm feeling...
i was used to not being listened...
thus i'm used to keeping everything in....
secondly,
it is NOT easy for me to cry...
it takes ALOT...
trust me...
in sjab,
i cried cos i cared...
i love sjab no matter what...
i know i may not be the best there...
but my passion towards it never dies....
the other time,
i got angry...
so angry i just threw something dear to me to someone...
then kept silent in one corner...
thats cos my feelings were hurt...
were hurt till i couldn't take it anymore....
so to all of you rite now,
when i keep silent..
please do think about me..
dont worry...
i'm just.... thinking?
unwritten! atWednesday, October 28, 2009
