i hate life rite now,
i just hate it...
i was happy wif it...
but this problem came up to my mind again....
i just cant forget it...
my parents....
they want me to be so smart..
they want me to like study 24/7...
want want be to be perfect...
to be top in everything....
everything except the things that i wanna be perfect in....
they have high expectations of me...
just because my sis didn't reach their expectations...
its like i have to work hard for both my sis and me.....
they are now pushing all their expectations to me.....
i wanna be the daughter they'll be proud of..
i really do...
but they expect me to study on my own...
whenever i'm at home,
i have to work alone..
having no help watsoever from anyone.....
they expect me to study all by myself........
its like a lonely world when i'm at home....
my parent,
they never tried to teach me...
when it comes to maths,
i'll go to them for help but the first thing they say,
"adek, mane lah ibu tau macam mane nak buat!
kau ade kakak kau taknak tanye!
pergilah tanye cikgu kau ke siape!!"
translation,
"my daughter, how should i know how to do?!
you got your sister to ask and u dont wanna ask her!
go and ask your teacher or someone else lah!"
dammit........
as for other subjects,
i always do it at night cos my parents are home....
but then when i ask them to help me,
they will say stuff like,
NOW THEN U WANNA ASK ME!
CAN ASK ME JUST NOW, U DONT WANT!
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
when they get back,
its already like 6+++++pm!
then they btake their time bathing,
and eating and watch tv.....
while they watching tv, u ask them,
they'll say ask them later cos their so called 'concentrating'.......
gah!
so after all this, confirm its like 10pm?
wth lah.....
dammit....
gah.....
plus they know how bad i am wif malay,
there was this once,
i really wanted to change myself and start reading,
so i asked them to buy me malay books,
and they said at home there're alot...
BUT THOSE ARE ALL 7-10YEAR OLD BOOKS!
gah.......................
picture books somemore.........
gah.................................................
got fished up...................................
i dont wanna be home...
i rather go live somewhere else.....
i wanna get out of here...............................................
